Sunday, May 07, 2006
Anyways, back to this blog. I thought about deleting this blog and maybe starting another one someday. I also thought about going through and deleting posts that referred to the family that I left behind and my love for them and I've decided that is dishonest. I don't want to revise history - just because things didn't work out with Kerri does not mean KC and Lydia are no longer part of me - they are my daughters. So the blog stays, all of it, and we all move forward. This path to the apex truly did start on that un-named beach in Hawaii 13 months ago, and present circumstances do not change that reality.
So, the blog lives! I began blogging for an outlet last August, to help with the loneliness of being married to a night shift nurse. Now, I am truly alone, but in many ways less lonely. I hope my little handful of loyal readers will forgive me for being gone, and bear with me as I try to find my voice again.
Having lived through 20 years of being more lonely married than since I have been single, I realize, each person that touches our lives will always be there. Why not have them there with love, memories, and cherished moments.
Life is about choices which help us grow. I have always looked up to you and the huge heart you have. I am glad you perserved it. That heart still has a lot to give. Start filling it with my love.
As for Trevor and Zack and Megan.. I love you guys. You are such a part of the girls and my life and I hope that you stay in touch with us all.
I will always love you Steve. My wish is that you will be happy in whatever life has in store for you. And to your loyal readers- aka family- I love you guys. I am sorry that things ended up this way. I am sure that in time Steve will share our demise. He is your son, brother and dad-just love him and know that this was a hard decision. I love you all and remember the good memories. I am truly not a bad person.
Love your night shift nurse