Northern Apex

This year's crop of new moose calves are being spotted all over town - I heard a report of a mama with twins crossing the road on the local radio's traffic report yesterday morning. The Anchorage residents who really seem to be making the news this year though are the bears - more specifically, the too bold, too hungry, and too cranky black bears that are fresh from their long naps and looking for trouble.

Yesterday's paper carried this story about a problem bear shot breaking into a man's chicken coop. Today, there is a story of two problem bears here, one of which entered a home through a screen door, grabbed a pillow off the couch, and had to be chased off with a bar stool.

Let's hope these bears all come to their senses and make better choices. There were 12 problem bears that had to be euthanized in Anchorage last year - an unfortunate result of wildlife and humans attempting to co-exist in a metropolitan setting.

Everyone have a great holiday weekend! I am spending the morning repairing my exercise bike - I donated it to work, and the cord ripped out at some point when I was moving it. This afternoon I'm thinking about heading out of town for a day or two with a tent and a sleeping bag. The irony is that Anchorage actually gets very quiet over Memorial Day weekend as everyone leaves town!

You know, you haven't heard very much about Zack on this blog, and here's why - Zack just quietly gets it done. As the eldest son, he does a great job looking out for his "little" brother, looks after his Mom, and stays in touch with me enough to let me know I'm loved. We all wish we could see more of him, but by the same token he is everything you hope for in a son - he is independent, intelligent, caring and well respected. He is actually super intelligent, and this has been his downfall more than once. Things like normal jobs, normal school, and normal circumstances have bored Zack at times - but now I think he is at a good place in life. He is very quiet - he and I have more in common than he would probably like to admit, and he would definitely agree with my posts on intelligence, I bet. He's a thinker . . . maybe too much, like his Dad.

I am enormously proud of the young man that Zack has become. He is always under the radar, content to let Trevor and the girls bask in the spotlight. Someday Zachary is going to find a niche and just blow people away - he has limitless potential. Right now, he does a great job at an industrial electronics supply store, no doubt cataloging all of their 48,000 different parts in his amazing mind. You might get lucky and spot Zack on his company's website here. Like his Dad, he probably doesn't quite know what he wants to be when he grows up - but he'll excel at whatever he tries along the way. He is always a great addition to any family gathering - we were so happy he was in Maui for the wedding.

You know, my Relay for Life walk this year was both incredibly disappointing, and incredibly motivating and special at the same time. First of all, thank to those of you that sponsored me! I raised over $600 for the American Cancer Society due to your generosity. The only time I totally lost it was when I was all alone in this school cafeteria at a big table, decorating the paper bag for Mom's luminaria. That was a very moving time, a physical manifestation of how much I missed her and why I was there. The sight of all those luminaria glowing around the entire circumference of a quarter mile track really has to be experienced - I would urge you all to take part in your local Relay for Life so you can see for yourself!

I was very disappointed that I could only manage 30 miles this year, and quit after about 14 hours, well short of the 42 miles and 20 hours of last time. I was cold, I didn't know any of the folks on my team, and then it started raining. My knee was throbbing badly and beginning to lock up. What rose from this disappointment though was a renewed commitment towards better health, one of the primary goals towards the apex. Thanks for all your calls and support over the weekend - I felt your love.

I love this photo, and I shamelessly ripped it off straight from MSN, of all places. It's Mother's Day, people, so let's talk mothers since it's 1 AM and I can't sleep.

I think I've lived a horribly sheltered life because I only know amazing mothers - maybe I've just been lucky. My Mom - I wouldn't have changed a thing. I knew she loved me every day of my life - what more could I ask for? I know I had a different relationship with Mom that my brother and sisters - I think we all thought we were Mom's favorite as that was her special genius. I think my Mom was proud of me, mostly, and I pray daily that she still is. I'm trying Mom, I really am. I still need your guidance, like I always have, and I'm listening. I still need you, more than ever. I remember the smell of the front hall closet where I played when I was little, and I had you all to myself during the day when everyone was at work or school. We took naps together and I rubbed your head to ease your migraines.

My sisters are great mothers, as is my brother's wife Sherry and my Dad's wife Penny. Happy Mother's Day ladies, you are special and loved. Enjoy your well deserved day in the spot light.

Just a couple short weeks ago it seemed like I never had enough time - now I guess it seems like I have too much. It is a transition period where I try to figure out what to do with all the time I spent driving girls and cleaning house and raising a family. I stopped by the house today to do some of those chores and there was someone else taking care of them, so time marches on. I'll get used to it, other things will someday fill the void, but for now Time and I have declared an uneasy truce until the rules are sorted out . . . in time. This shouldn't be easy - and it's not.

I moved out from my house to a tiny camper parked behind work last weekend while my family was on the east coast, celebrating KC's 16th birthday. The reasons why I moved out are not really pertinent to this blog; of course I feel I have very good reasons for moving out - doesn't everyone that moves out from their loved ones? If for no other reason than to preserve their own sanity?

Anyways, back to this blog. I thought about deleting this blog and maybe starting another one someday. I also thought about going through and deleting posts that referred to the family that I left behind and my love for them and I've decided that is dishonest. I don't want to revise history - just because things didn't work out with Kerri does not mean KC and Lydia are no longer part of me - they are my daughters. So the blog stays, all of it, and we all move forward. This path to the apex truly did start on that un-named beach in Hawaii 13 months ago, and present circumstances do not change that reality.

So, the blog lives! I began blogging for an outlet last August, to help with the loneliness of being married to a night shift nurse. Now, I am truly alone, but in many ways less lonely. I hope my little handful of loyal readers will forgive me for being gone, and bear with me as I try to find my voice again.